I thought I never could be

So as most of you know I love being a mom but feel that I could never be a stay at home mom again. I think stay at home mom's truly have one of the hardest jobs ever and do not feel that is a job I could do. I was once a stay at home mom for about a year with my son. Then I decided to go back to work and have worked ever since. Don't get me wrong I have thought about doing it again but never really felt like I could. So then we go to California for 11 full days. I had Jeff there to help with the kids but really I was afraid. I have lost my patience and was so afraid of just full on losing it with my family. It is something I am trying to fix but I do not feel I am completely at fault because some of the side effects of my meds is irritability and anger. So back to my story.... The whole time I felt I was pretty good, I mean I did yell and I did have bouts but overall it was better then I had anticipated. Then Jeff left town for work and I became a single parent for the week. I have had a horrible week but have found my mind going back to thinking how much I love being home when my kids get out of school. I miss the 11 days that I could just lay and hug my kids and tickle them when I wanted.
I have decided that I will no longer say that I could never be but that I may really have a chance. Seriously I see my sister K who does all these amazing things with her kids and really is just an amazing stay at home mother. I know she doesn't think so but truly she is. I look at her and my other sisters and realize that they are all so amazing with their kids and ours. Sorry for the rambling and jumping around but that is how I think and so you all will just have to deal :)